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Author of The Pornographer's Daughter providing commentary on pornography, life and much more.

Filtering by Tag: Father's Day

Dadisms

Kristin Battista-Frazee

Dad_beach.jpg

We have all received sage advice from our fathers, referred to sometimes as dadisms, whether it was welcome or not. As teenagers we probably rolled our eyes and placed our hands over our ears when he started a sentence with, “when I was your age…” But as we grew older we appreciated the advice and the earnest efforts of our fathers to share lessons learned.  We reflect on this advice years later, most often today, and realize maybe dad had a point.   Here are some things my father has shared with me over the years and memorable quotes unique only to him.

"Going to college teaches you how to think.”

I heard this often in conversations about the importance of college and when I was deciding my major.

“As long as you tried your hardest nothing else matters.”

When I failed miserably, despite my best effort, this always made me feel better because I did try my hardest always.

“Being too trusting can sometimes be a bad thing.”

It’s a harsh reality of the world that being too nice or trusting can come back to bite you. A healthy amount of skepticism can go a long way.

“If the government wants me to be a pornographer then that’s what I will be. And be damn good at it, too.”

After my father’s arrest for distributing Deep Throat, he resolved to move forward in any way he could to support our family. This was my version of the saying, “when life hands you lemons, you make lemonade.”

“The difference between selling stock and selling smut, is the hours. Also I don’t have to wear a tie anymore.”

I love this quote and it was featured in the Today Magazine article, “Stockbroker to Pornbroker” in May of 1977. It’s quintessential Dad in which he states the obvious and in practical terms anyone can understand.

“He/she is an empty suit.”

Dad’s description of a dumb politician or corporate executive.  He says this often about Republicans, but also some Democrats who deserve that moniker.

“That is why there’s chocolate, vanilla and heavenly hash (ice cream).”

Dad’s way of acknowledging of our very diverse world.

 “I have more years behind me than in front of me.”

Lesson learned: it goes by fast kid enjoy your time now.

So remember fondly today the advice imparted by our fathers. And for those of us whose fathers have passed, they are never forgotten and loved always. We’ll always remember their dadisms.

 I’m also linking to a cooking lesson from my dad on how to make spaghetti and clams. If you make this recipe, I hope you like it! 

Happy Father’s Day to fathers everywhere.

Pre-order The Pornographer's Daughter today. In bookstores September 1.

Happy Father’s Day to the Pornographer

Kristin Battista-Frazee

I know my life is too busy when I just realized today is Father’s Day. There was no card in the mail for my dad, so feeling very guilty, I sat down and wrote this blog.  As you may know, I’m writing my book, The Pornographer’s Daughter, in large part because of my dad’s incredible story about distributing Deep Throat in the 1970s.  But apart from his 35 year career in the porn industry, he’s just my dad. I learned a lot from him about persistence (he fought his case to the Supreme Court) and about social justice (which prompted me to earn a Masters degree in Social Work). And a million other little things that positively shape my political views, work ethic and parenting philosophies. So for this, I thank him today.

I also wanted to give you a glimpse of the eccentricities and qualities about him, besides his job, which make him so unique to me. Like how he thinks going to the grocery store is an exciting outing and that he has a strange concern about whether or not I have enough plastic containers for leftovers. He makes great pancakes and gravy and meatballs.  Every election he drives people to the polls to vote who can’t get there themselves. Of course he only gives rides to Democrats since he says he wouldn’t want the Republicans to have any advantage. He lives in Florida so every vote counts. On Election Day in 2008, he volunteered for the Obama campaign office in Philadelphia. Like so many others, when the results came in declaring Obama would be the next president, he gleefully took to the streets like a teenager to celebrate. 

My dad has to wear shirts with a front pocket so he can carry a pen. I have no idea what he might desperately need to write down, but any shirt given as a gift without a pocket is promptly returned.  He hates the bright sunlight, but as previously mentioned, strangely he lives in Florida. He loves big cities, Broadway plays, and he thinks becoming a grandfather is his greatest achievement. He loves his Gracie girl! He is generous to a fault sometimes, and takes great joy in gathering his friends and family together by planning a huge reunion party in South Philly every year.  My dad is a hard worker, yells at the TV when he is watching political shows and reads stacks of newspapers every day. I’m so proud to call him my dad. Happy Father’s Day!